Gawd it’s freakin’ hot outside.

Summertime always makes me want to switch my sleeping schedule from sleeping at night to sleeping during the day – JUST TO ESCAPE THE HEAT AND THE CONSTANT SUNLIGHT!

I also become SUPER lazy when its hot. Hence not being able to reach the computer in my office to blog…or write…or get prepared for the upcoming semester at the university. (Hasn’t stopped me from playing online video games, just stops me from doing anything else important.)

I don’t know how people do it in places that have sunlight for 18+ hours straight.

Weather in the desert is temperamental – or just plain mental – at best. One day it’ll be 90 degrees, a nice dry heat, slight breeze to make it bearable, and the next day it hits you in the face with 100+ degree weather and its fucking humid.

Where the humidity came from? No one knows…

We got back from Vegas about a week and a half ago and almost cried when we got back across NM state lines. It was cloudy, it was 85ish degrees all the way home and it was raining. Like real rain, not the occasional spurts of cloud piss we get in central New Mexico. Vegas was 117 degrees when we left – and miserable.

It even rained four out of the seven days last week here in the Land of Enchantment. SHOCK!

Needless to say, us desert people were exceptionally happy standing outside gawking and looking up at the rain as if it were something mystical and foreign to us.

Today I decided that the laziness needed to stop. My sister and I have been feeling the affects of supreme mid-summer lazy and we have had enough. So back to keyboard I go!

On a serious note, I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and that the weather hasn’t had any horrible affects on them. Stay safe, stay cool, stay hydrated.

I love air-conditioning,


hot summer

My sister’s cat is in heat – I have retreated to my office.

TheĀ  only thing that will save me now is if I barricade myself in my office and ignore the feline-in-heat sounds of “SOMEONE! ANYONE! PLEASE HUMP ME BARNYARD STYLE!!!”

It’s my sister’s little cat that is not fixed. My much older male cat has been fixed for years. All he can do now is hit it and then quit it – if you get my meaning. And he is so old that he can only do it like once or twice a day before he just climbs off her and walks away for a nap. Or hides under the bed. Or in my lap. He’s so desperate to get away from her.

I know he is successful at his chosen hiding place when she walks around the house meowing mournfully.

How like life.

My poor cat. She flaunts herself like the hussy she is. He politely declines and asks her to give him some space from her hormone crazed emotional ups and downs. She swats him in the face, purrs, then rolls over and flicks her tail in his face. He declines again. She gets angry. He finally gives her one last, “Sorry, toots, my nether bits aren’t working for you today.”

She comes back with:

I'll go cray cray on the couch if I don't get me some. I'll even blame you.

I’ll go cray cray on the couch if I don’t get me some. I’ll even blame you.

And she would. It’s kind of awesome.

So for today, I am locking myself in my office with my poor abused cat and writing another chapter in my novel. Maybe doing so more editing. Lets hope she doesn’t realize he is in here reading the latest from Sylvia Day, hiding under the covers on top of my chaise lounge. If she were to find out….

Cat Pounce

Shhhh…she might hear us.




Life, Death, Complications, and a desperate need for a hug

Life: I am happy to be alive. I am happy that I have not yet had to bury my parents or my siblings. I am desperately happy that my husband is by my side and not waiting for me in the afterlife – whatever that may be. I watched some of the strongest people I know break down this past weekend – and I in turn, became a sobbing mess.

Death: My uncle passed away several days ago. Family from all over the place flew, drove and made their way here to celebrate his life and to mourn his passing.

“I have never seen so many Mexicans in one place before.” Was a common joke running amongst the family. My uncle was a great man, loved by so many people that there was just an incredible number of them who showed up and gave love and support.

I think I handled it well. Death has always been an issue with me. I don’t take it well. My youngest sister was able to go sit by his side as he was dying, surrounded by family and some friends. I wasn’t able to be there until later that evening after he had died, but I was able – through the help of my very amazing little sister – to say a few things to him via speakerphone on her cell phone.

He wasn’t able to talk back, but my sister said he moved his foot in response. I hope that means he heard me.

I told him I loved him. That out of all the brothers (my dad included), he was the most handsome. I also asked him not to tell my dad that…it might hurt his feelers.

I ended the call with, “Don’t forget, Uncle, I am the coolest birthday present you ever got!” That was something I would tell him every year on our shared birthday. He always agreed.

The hardest part of having someone you love and care about pass away is knowing that you are left behind. He left behind his soul mate, two grown daughters, and his son who is just 16 years old.

I watched my teenage cousin become a man the day that his father died. I cried when he cried. I held him and hugged him as often as I could. And I was fiercely proud of the man he has become as he stood in the driveway, back straight, eyes forward, and arms wrapped around his crying sisters and mother as the funeral home people drove away with his father’s body.

He is an incredibly strong young man and I am proud to be his cousin.

The funeral was beautiful. My dad was asked to speak…and it was equal parts beautiful and sad. I have seen my dad cry very few times in my life. Every time I saw it, it broke my heart. It was even more heartbreaking to see my mother cry. All four of my parents were at the viewing and the funeral. I was glad for their support. I just wish some of the extending family members didn’t try to make it awkward. I felt it rude and beneath them.

But what can you do when alcohol is involved, right?

And what’s a funeral without a little family drama. I won’t go into that, but just suffice it to say that I was appalled at the treatment of some of my family members. My uncle would have kicked their asses if he were alive.

My desperate need for a hug: I got plenty of hugs, but it was like it was never enough. I was stressed out because of the adoption stuff. I was wrecked because of my uncle’s passing. I was happy to see family members I hadn’t seen in awhile, and then sad when I realized that it takes a heartbreaking moment such as death in order to bring everyone together.

Curious George was solid for me though. My man was the rock that held me up and kept me together. I remember sitting next to him and telling him that we share something in common now.

We both lost people we loved who shared a birthday with us. He lost his little brother, and I lost my uncle. Not a birthday will go by that we won’t think of them and lift a glass in honor of their memory.

I also told Curious George that I get to die first. I called it – so he has to honor it. I don’t even know how I would make it if I lost him. I don’t know how my aunt is doing it now. Even with all the time they had to prepare – they knew he was dying of cancer for years – it doesn’t take away the pain, or the sudden wrenching in your heart where your happiness used to be.

Adoption Update: We finished all of the required parenting and adoption classes. Our first home-study visit went very well and we were complimented on our home. We just have one visit left.

Unfortunately, Curious George and I were only able to attend my uncle’s funeral, not the burial portion of it. Our home-study was scheduled right in the middle of the two. I was really torn on what to do, but my parents made it clear that we were to take care of our family first and go to our home-study visit. Having that support was definitely what we needed.

The not so good stuff of the Adoption Update: Because I have Bipolar II disorder, because I have been in therapy for years (my choice to maintain optimum mental health), and because I have medication that I take – there is a chance they will not approve us.

And it’s not just my mental disorder, its also because my husband’s family is severely dysfunctional in a way that harmed him when he was growing up. These are red flags to them until they investigate more and make sure that we are solid.

I understand. Really, I do. But at the same time I just want to scream and throw things. I have spent my whole life making sure that I am not a statistic. I am not just stable, I have a huge support system that I surround myself with just in case I falter and have a bad cycle. I am educated, I am hardworking, I am more than capable of being a good parent, as is Curious George.

The social worker understands and knows us very well now and has said that she thinks we will make great parents regardless of what happened in our pasts. She also thinks that we will be better able to handle some of the children we have been matched with as these are all kids that have been taken from their homes due to abuse, neglect, etc.

She said she was going to fight hard for us and bring every bit of information to her supervisor – who will make the final YAY or NAY decision.

We should know what that decision is in about two weeks or so. The waiting is going to drive me nuts.

Dear God,

Please. A million times, please.


She is a pint-sized she devil in disguise as my little sister…

She terrifies me.

She is only a couple of years younger than me. She is tiny, olive skinned, with great hair and an obsession with shoes that borders a serious fetish.

She is one of my younger sisters and dear gawd does she know how to kick ass…

If she was an anime character, several years younger and all Japanese instead of just part, she would look a lot like this:

That thing she is holding...yeah...its something to beat me with.

That thing she is holding…yeah…its something to beat me with.

After she takes me to my dreaded physical and doctors appointment, we are laying on my bed talking about this and that when she looks me dead in the eyes and says, “Let’s talk about your schedule for the day.”

Fuck balls. She’s about to lay down the law.

“You need to pick up your prescription after Curious George gets home, work for a couple hours in your office, and then you owe me a chapter by tomorrow.”

Oh, yeah. Forgot I hired her to be my personal assistant/ editor/ ass kicker extraordinaire.

She follows it up by saying that it better get done before she gets home after her shift at the salon because we will be hitting the gym later tonight.

Again. Fuck balls.

This girl means business.

I walk her outside, tell her I love her and watch her unlock her car. Just before she gets in the car she informs me:

“By the way, if you don’t get that chapter done by tomorrow, you have to complete two of them. I was going to give you a day off on Saturday and say the next one is due by Sunday night since we have that last Adoption class to go to, but if you don’t get it done….you’ll owe me two chapters.” And with a deceptively cheerful wave and a quick, “Love you, bye!” she drove off.

How can someone so tiny be so intimidating?

So I been working in my office for the past few hours. The evil pixie herself is due home in about 15 minutes.

I better hop to it. She has great shoes, but they aren’t fun at all when being kicked up one’s ass.

Wishing I was Harriet Potter and had an amazing magic wand,


We can't help that we're fabulous.

We can’t help that we’re fabulous.

Adoption updates, cat hair, and the inevitable realization that we will never have enough money.

Lets start with cat hair. It’s the simplest of the topics. It’s also everywhere – and I do mean everywhere.

I open the cabinet to the pots and pans – there’s cat hair.

I open my panty drawer – cat hair.

The food pantry – just the cat this time – accompanied by a small mound of cat hair.

I take the dog treats down from the top of the refrigerator and open them to find….wait for it…..wwaaaaiiiitttt fffooorrr iiiiitttt……dog treats! Covered in cat hair!

I get into the car to drive across town only to hop out of the car and – YOU GUESSED IT – I’m covered in cat hair. (Which is strange considering the cats are indoor cats and I brushed a lint roller all over myself prior to leaving.)

I open my laptop only to find!!!!!!!!!! CAT HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!


Damn cats.

I had nice microfiber dark green couches once…they are now combination white, gray, and black fur covered couches.


Little bastards….those are the actual culprits above…

But I’m not bitter. Moving on.

Adoption updates: (I have still not found a way to do what I want to do to link two blogs to my one site. I will figure it out later. In the meantime, I will just update them here and then move them over to the other page link on the site.)

So, as for the adoption, Curious George (my husband) and I are in our last two weeks or so before the home study is finished. I had my one-on-one interview with the social worker, my physical is next week, class #3 and #4 are this Saturday and next Saturday respectively, and our paperwork went through just fine. We are just waiting on a few more things to come back from the state and then we are good.

Also, our social worker is amazing. Totally nice and non-threatening. Curious George’s one on one interview with her was only about an hour and half tops…mine was three hours.

I talk too damn much.

Anyway, our wonderful social worker will also be coming by the house in a few days and then again a week or so later. Hopefully I can get everything done to the house that needs doing on time. We have our couples interview then as well. Hopefully she thinks we are as awesome together as we are individually.


We still need to go get a few things from Lowe’s. And unfortunately, we are going to need new carpet. There is no repairing the damage previous roommates have done to it. I wouldn’t want our kids to have to walk on it, let alone look at it.

So that’s pretty much it this week. We are just hauling things and finishing up the last of the yard work. We are leaving the man cave and my office the same instead of moving everything out of those two rooms – the social worker said it would be better if we didn’t go all cray-cray and get stuff we might not need until placement.

She actually said cray-cray. Love her.

Domestic adoption sure is quicker than international adoption. She said we might even be placed and have the kids in the house by September….

Dear god. September. We were thinking Christmas time.


You’re welcome, nerds.

When I told my sister about this (who also lives in the house with us), her response was comical. “Birthday present for Curious George.” Wouldn’t that just be epic?

“Happy Birthday honey! Oh look, CYFD just pulled up with our children in the backseat! Suprise!”

Not gonna lie – I definitely had a moment of panic filled shock after I heard that one. I hear its normal though. There is just so much to do and to prepare. It’s exciting, exhausting, and adventure filled – and it will continue to be once we are actually placed.

That’s when you know you’re on the right track. Your mind is full of doubts, but your heart keeps beating, pulling you in the direction your feet are taking you. I have faith that things will work out for the best and that we are exactly where we need to be.

Next topic!


Stupid broke. That’s how broke we are. When we have kids we will be moved up to MORBIDLY BROKE – which is like stupid broke, only multiplied by the number of mouths you have to feed.

But do people ever really have enough money? I hear the saying, “Mo’ money mo’ problems.” First off, who the frack is Mo? And why does he have so many money problems? Balance your checkbook, bro.

I’ve been multiplying everything by three recently – followed by my eyes popping out of my head at the sheer magnitude of what we are about to go through. The numbers add up only if one of us eats Ramen noodles four times a week lol. Just kidding, it isn’t that bad. But I tend to process chance in the pessimistic side of things when it comes to money.

Second, I’m thinking about fundraising for the money we would need to make the last few changes to the house. Has anybody ever used or other fundraising sites? If so, if you can let me know how that worked out for you I would really appreciate it.

Alright, laundry waits for no woman. Need to go change that and make dinner.

Topic of the day – Whether you have adopted internationally or domestically, I would really like to hear how the process went for you. Was it atrocious? Was it magical like unicorns farting sparkles? Did you adopt one or a sibling group?

And final question – Do you still have all your hair or did you pull it out from the stress?



Our Adoption Blog

We are going through the process to adopt a child(ren) domestically here in our home state. I am currently reworking everything on my website so I will expand on this a little bit later. Sorry for all the construction dust and damage. I’m learning how to set all this up as I go.